Finding Deep Hope

by Peggy Siegel

Sitting at my desk glancing over to my bookshelf, I see a gift a client once gave me. It’s a plaque that reads, “Hopeful Spirit.” At the time, I appreciated that she could see that quality in me. But now? Where is that hopeful spirit in me?

I am just beginning to climb out of a state of unrelenting hopelessness. Every day COVID numbers escalating, climate change now a global crisis, the fires out west destroying acres and acres of precious trees and wildlife, floods destroying homes and whole towns….not to mention all the serious social and political issues that are present…heaping more and more powerlessness and hopelessness on my heavy heart.

Three recent events seem to be bringing about a change in my spirit. First, I called a friend who is a psychiatric social worker in NY. When I brought up the traffic jam of difficult feelings that all led to a big pile of hopelessness, she said, “Ain’t that the truth! I’m with you!” And I realized just in that moment I was not alone in my experience, and remarkably felt a bit of relief.

Later that week, an old childhood friend sent me an essay she had written about 2020. Her first sentence read, “2020 has been a very challenging year for optimists.” I saw in an instant that 2020 and 2021 have worn out my “hopeful spirit.” I’ve never been some cock-eyed optimist but I am a person who usually sees possibilities or can find the bright side of a situation… until now.

The third thing that happened was a friendly suggestion to read the book Deep Hope: Zen Guidance for Staying Steadfast When the World Seems Hopeless by Diane Rizzetto. I bought it immediately and have come to believe this is a necessary book for these times.

Even her description of hopelessness helped me feel hopeful that I could escape this trap I was caught in. Rizzetto talks about hopelessness as a mind caught in feeling alone, separate, imperfect, worthless, small. It is eyes that see only the evil, death, despair and suffering. It’s a heart saying, “I just can’t care anymore. It hurts too much.” Mostly, it’s a big NO to life…which explains the fatigue and lack of vitality that came with my hopelessness.

But hope seems so elusive at the moment. So what is hope? It’s easy to relate to the concept of hope as it pertains to a specific outcome like hoping someone feels better soon. But deep hope “makes no guarantee for any particular outcome,” Rizzetto says. She continues, “Deep hope springs from the energy of life itself.” She describes deep hope as “embedded in our journey and it sustains us no matter the outcome of a particular course of events.” She believes that it is part of our essential nature and is what comes forth when we open our hearts and minds to what we can offer and what we receive. “It asks us to turn our hearts toward the good that is possible, whatever the good might be.”

Deep hope asks us to dwell in the unknown — “that open, spacious, realm of possibility. We face things as they are, but deep hope draws no conclusions about the future, for the future is yet to be and is determined by many conditions - including but not limited to - our actions right here and now. So although we see things as they are, we also aspire to what they could be.”

Between reading the book and doing some of the suggested practices I’ve begun to notice when hope is present or absent. I know that too much world news or being indoors too long both can diminish hope. And I’ve found that experiences that can shift my perspective likewise create an opening for hope. My heart melting as my grandson crawls into my lap to cuddle during story time. Being with a friend who is near the end of her life, feeling our deep human connection and also the love I feel for her. Volunteering in the city park nearby with fellow tree stewards, caring about the earth together. Laughing with neighbors during our chats in the street, talking to others about how they are making decisions about their health and safety during the pandemic. These are times my heart is open, I can feel our common humanity. I’m in the present moment and I’m oftentimes seeing their goodness. In these moments I can feel hope present within me.

Vaclav Havel, statesman, playwright and former president of the Czech Republic, describes what Rizzetto calls deep hope as “a state of the mind, not a state of the world. It is an orientation of the heart; it transcends the world that is immediately experienced, and is anchored somewhere beyond its horizons. (It is) the ability to work for something because it is good, not because it stands a chance to succeed…It keeps us above water and urges us to do good works.” In other words, apparently hope urges goodness.

Hope, it seems, is oftentimes the energy behind generosity, speaking out for justice, taking compassionate action, living with patience, being with the truth of what is and urging us forward no matter what.

The book Deep Hope is filled with new ways of seeing and practices to open the heart and mind. For now, I’m simply trying different practices, giving it my best shot. It’s a bumpy journey during these difficult times. But it helps to be paying attention and to have clear intention. The one I’m holding is:

May I cultivate a state of mind and

an orientation of the heart that

supports me in engaging with life through

deep hope